The proposed Tassie AFL team

Think Tasmania having a team in the AFL is a good idea? Let me pose you the following questions.

1. As a avid footy fan will you head along to York Park (yes, York Park, none of this "Aurora Stadium" shit) every 2 weeks to ensure we get 20,000 people at each game? Because really, for the team to be to be financially viable that's what has got to happen.
2. Do you think the average Tasmanian football fan, who has probably been going for the same Victorian based club for the past 10 years (or more in most cases) is going to jump ship just because "Tassie" has their own team now?
3. Will you become a member of this club? The $300k MyState chucked into the pot recently ain't going to last long.
   
4. Have you ever gone to a Tassie Devils game? (Our VFL side for those who don't know, they suck)
5. Do you like having a health system that sucks balls?
   

If you answered yes to any of the above question it is quite possible that you have a brain tumor that is impeding your judgement and should probably get that shit checked out. If you answered no to all of these questions you are probably starting to get the point...

A TASMANIAN AFL TEAM IS NOT VIABLE AND NEVER WILL BE!!

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Facebook's "People You May Know" Feature

Fuck, did we really? Did we really both go to University of Tasmania?

Shit, I don't remember him. He must've gotten lost amongst the THOUSANDS OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO ALSO GO THERE.

But, fuck. If the almighty Facebook thinks I should know him, then hit me up, motherfucker.

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Amy Winehouse

Say no to drugs kids.

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The History Channel's range of PS2 Games

Everybody knows that nothing educational is fun.

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Steve Cannane

The last thing I need on a Friday afternoon while driving home from a hard day at work is to have to listen to this self righteous fuck patronise whatever big business CEO/Government representative/redneck is on the other side of his shortsighted left wing propaganda for half an hour. I'm all for sticking it to the man and shit but christ before you go throwing you idealist beliefs on to the table have a look at the big fucking picture.

Fuck you Steve Cannane.

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John Mayer

Fuck this shit, here's your real Bigfoot.

I mean come on. The guy looks like he's gone twelve rounds with a frypan armed Sonny Liston.

Her body may be a wonderland, but his face is a bomb site.

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Alain Bernard

Stop smiling, Gigantor. You're French.

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Judo

Oh sure. On paper, it seems exciting. Perhaps even enthralling. But I've got the hot scoop for you.

A Judo bout consists primarily of the following:

• Two people feebly grabbing at each others bathrobes for 5 minutes.

If I wanted to watch that, I'd stop by Happy Hour at the Masonic Retirement Village.

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Brett Favre

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/08/08/2328352.htm

The Jets?

The JETS???

Seriously, fucking Americans and their cunting sheepstations of sports. I turn my back for 5 seconds and this shit happens. This is worse than the Hornets leaving Charlotte.

Stop beating that dead horse and go build a boat, Pops.

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Bad Beards

This is an example of a real beard:

This however, is what happens when you dip your face in a bowl of iron filings:

For fucks sake, if you only heed one piece of advice this year, make it this one:

If you can't, don't.

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Durian

Call me crazy, but I'm not too comfortable with the idea of eating something that looks like the aftermath of an E-Coli ridden Thai Green Curry.

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Hiring Non-Union Workers (continued)

Seriously. You get what you pay for.

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People who wear Bluetooth Headsets

Nothing says "I'm a cockbrained yuppie fuckwit" quite like these ridiculous things.

If you yourself happen to own or use one, here's a list of other things you may enjoy:

• A tall Starbucks mocha-frappa-orange-cappa-fucker-cafe-minger-I'm-a-dicklicker-chino. With sprinkles.
• Necrophilia.
• Dan Brown novels and/or Michael Bay movies.
• Enya's complete discography.
• Baccarat.
• All things pertaining to the nation of France and its people therein.
• Flower arranging and assorted flower arranging paraphernalia.
  
• Bob Geldof.
  

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Bindi Irwin

Let's break it down:

- Shares the same horrifyingly positive demeanour that most Pentacostal Suicide Cult leaders have.

- 22 months on, is still using a coffin as a soapbox.

- Has a face like a stepped-on Bullfrog.

Look sweetheart, you may like to focus on only happy things, cute little animals and the like. And that's fine for the time being.

But I've got sour news for you, Missy. The world isn't all sunshine, fairy tales, popcorn and farts. One of these days you'll discover both this and crystal meth, and then the rest of us will be all the better for it.

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The singer from Something With Numbers

That daft looking thing in the middle.

Fucking horse-faced cunt with a voice that sounds like he's been chugging Draino.

Get a haircut, nancy boy.

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