Tuna Mornay

Fuck off.

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Randy Jackson

Shut up.

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Watermelon Helmets

Fucking what?

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This guy

Nice scarf, asshat.

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Ventriloquists

Not funny.

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Dudes who go Shirtless in Public

We get it. You're an asshole.

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Good Sportsmanship

A HIGH school basketball coach was sacked after he refused to apologise for his team's 100-0 thrashing of a crosstown rival.

The Covenant School in Dallas, Texas, beat the Dallas Academy by the stunning margin in a match played on January 13.

Last week, the school posted a message on its website apologising for the win. "It is shameful and an embarrassment that this happened. This clearly does not reflect a Christlike and honourable approach to competition," the message read.

Fuck that.

You seriously wanted him to apologise to the other team because he was apparently ruling at his job?

Here's an apology for them: "I'm sorry your team SUCKS ASS."

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Tex Perkins & his Lady Boyz

Tex Perkins and the wat?

If you come to Launceston and play at the casino (which believe me is not as glamorous as it sounds) it means one of two things...

Either you're the Deltones or you suck. So which is it Tex?

Seriously just take your "Lady Boyz" to crawl back to the cave of insignificance you came from.

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Whoever makes the Rivers ads

If I ever find you you son of a bitch I swear to god I will fucking murder you.

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Nanny McPhee

No.

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Council Regulations

What up now?

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Paris Hilton (cont'd)

Paris Hilton claims she's only slept with "a couple" of people.

Riiiiiight.

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This shit

An Australian man says the Virgin Mary and baby Jesus have appeared in his lava lamp and ever since the “miracle” his life has been blessed.

Seriously, if I went to the press every time I saw some thing that sort for resembled a dude with a beard or some bird in robes and shit New Idea would owe me like a billion dollars.

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Ben Lee (continued)

What the fuck. GOD DAMMIT I HATE THIS GUY, LOOK AT HIS FUCKING STUPID FACE ARRRGGGH!!!!!!!!!

Next time you have a red dot on your forehead it will be from a sniper rifle, my sniper rifle you wafty fuck.

By the way has anyone got a sniper rifle I could purchase off them? I'm willing to pay top dollar, riding the world of this motherfucker would be worth every cent.

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The fucking dickheads who unmasked The Stig

I warn you, click at your own peril.

Are you happy? Hmm? Content? Satisfied? Altogether pleased with your "feats" of "journalistic excellence"?

WELL I'M FUCKING NOT.

The WHOLE FUCKING POINT of The Stig was that he was, for all intents and purposes, identity-less.

The Stig simply was. And that was more than enough.

See, childhood is filled was false prophets and disappointment. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, Loki the Angel of Death. These all turned out to be either complete fallacies or Matt Damon.

The Stig gave hope to every grown man who needed something to believe in. The Stig was above the common man. But more importantly, The Stig was also real.

But you just HAD to fucking ruin it for everyone, didn't you. Well thanks-a-fucking-lot, dickwads.

The only comforting thought is the knowledge that you work in a soulless profession that will, with any luck, see you covering Cat Shows and World's Largest Nobody-Cares until the day you die. And on that day your eternal sentence of being cast into Hell's firey depths to be beaten mercilessly with that very same Stig helmet you "removed" for all eternity will begin, whilst we sit on our Aston Martin made cloud in Heaven shouting "SERVES YOU FUCKING RIGHT."

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Ferrets

What the fucking fuck?

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This Guy

"A photographer has captured the last stand of a gunman wanted by US police after a series of bank raids.

The shots show Robert Sylvester, 57, jumping from his vehicle and brandishing his gun before a shootout with officers.

He was eventually gunned down and died hours later in hospital from multiple wounds."

I like smoking while undertaking other activities as much as the next guy but in a gun battle with the fuzz!!!! No, that sort of shit requires your full attention (And I would know, because I'm gangsta).

So, summing up. Smoking a da in a gun fight...

Cool? Fuck yes

Wise? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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BTW: More photos here. Fantastic stuff.