Inappropriate Crowd Movement

Bare with me on this one.

Picture this: It's Saturday night. You're out having a good time. Sure, the place is a little crowded, but you counteract that by forming a tight circle of mates, and you proceed to drink beers and shoot the shit. Everything's going swimmingly.

All of a sudden, you feel two hands lightly grab you either side of your waist from behind.

The mind, in a split second, whirs. The possibilities are endless. And then you turn around, only to discover that it was some fucking harlot trying to make their way through the crowd.

Who the FUCK just casually grabs the waist of a complete stranger?

Do I know you? Are you some long lost mate "'avin a laff"? Are you Scarlett Johannson, coming to surprise me after being finally wooed by pile after pile of my borderline-psychotic "fan mail"?

No. You are not. You are no one. Do not grab my fucking waist. Ever.

Here's how it's done: One hand. Open palm. Right between the shoulderblades. This can be accompanied by an audible "Excuse me, cobber." or, "Sorry, champ".

Simple.

I'll even put in pictures for you.

This:

is acceptable.

This, however:

is going to earn you an elbow in the teeth.

You have been forewarned.

Fail-O-Meter: