2.5.09

Twilight





THEY'RE NOT VAMPIRES, THEY'RE FUCKING SHITCUNTING, ARSE-SPELUNKING, PISS SWILLING, DICK CHEESED FAGGOTS.

It's not cool, it's not romantic, it's not anything. It's a piece of fucking shit.

I would say that I completely question how voluntarily allowing the undead to end your life and turn your physical body into an unholy undead menance with a voracious appetite for human blood could be considered in any way romantic, but oh-fucking-no, the stupid whore who wrote it didn't follow the literary canon on vampires that had been well-fucking-established long before she came along.

REAL Vampires stalk the living only at night, burn to a crisp in daylight, ensnare virginal females with a mythical power for the SOLE FUCKING PURPOSE of relieving them of all their blood-like fluids, and are generally fucking bad ass.

The things in Twilight, on the other hand, are nothing but a bunch of two-bit pussyfooting nancy boy cuntfaces who glitter in the sunlight like some ponsing, pinging, raving fluoro fuckface who somehow stumbled onto the set of Art Attack and rolled around for 10 hours bellowing "The Hey Song" at the top of his lungs.

Anyone who actively reads and buys into this shit should be stabbed through the heart with a stake. You want your precious fantasy vampire life? You got it, shitcicles.

Fail-O-Meter:

3 comments:

Damien. said...

oath!!!

CRVashTheStampede said...

You are officially a God

mello sl said...

you said it...but god must you curse so much? I know that sometimes there's no other way to say it, and it's not like you stated the untruth but jesus christ on a cracker...