The state of morning television

Gone are the days of classic cartoons on one station and gimic free news on the other. This is the filth I have to deal with at 7am

Sunrise






This show is aggravating on so many levels. The show seems to be Australia's highest employer of "Social Commentators" who's sole purpose seems to be to come on and discuss pressing issues that generally seem to revolve around the following themes...

• Do men do things that are stereotypically male?
• Do I really have to pay for "x" service that is being supplied to me by "x" business?
• Kids don't have to learn the same stuff we did when we were at school.
  

But the best part of the show is where a home viewer writes in with a problem they are having with "the man". Que the following script

Kochie: Can we do something about that?
Producers: Um well no not..
Kochie: Don't worry viewer Sunrise is on the case, we'll follow this up for you.

WELL THANK FUCKING FUCK SUNRISE, MASTERS OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE ARE HERE TO SAVE LOWER-MIDDLE CLASS AUSTRALIA FROM MILD INCONVENIENCE. THANK GOD SUNRISE, THE HARBINGERS OF JUSTICE ARE HERE TO KEEP THE BASTARDS HONEST!!!

Moving on.


Today

Today is certainly not as bad as Sunrise in terms of cheese but it make up for this in other areas. Carl Stefanovic seems determined to give the alternate right point of view regardless of how insensitive it may be...

Also shows on channel 9 always seem like they've been put together by a year 12 media class.

ABC News Breakfast

During the first couple of weeks of watching this I believed that my morning TV problems had been solved. Finally a morning show without all the bullshit, no social commentators, no competitions just straight up news. I slowly came to realise that Virginia Trioli seems to know everything about fucking everything and has an unhealthy obsession of trying to prove herself as a credible journalist and not just the token female co-host.

Seriously you don't have to add a comment to every single conversation and attacking the credibility of every single politician that comes on your show is not "hard hitting journalism" it's just fucking annoying. There is a time and a place for this type of shit but it sure ain't breakfast television.

Totally Wild

Totally wild is sort of like that show Medium. Boring as hell but has somehow managed to stay of TV for like 10 years. I don't want to learn about bugs or some shit I WANT CARTOONS!!!

Here are just a couple of cartoons Ten could put on instead.

• TMNT
• Batman
• Pokemon (I don't want to see a word against Pokemon in the comments section)

Filipino/Greek/Mandarin News
While these shows are generally more entertaining than the above (or maybe just less infuriating I can't tell) I don't speak any language other than English. Enough said. I am hoping however one day I discover a culture where it is common occurrence for fights to break out on morning television. Until then ABC kids will have to do.

P.S. Yeah I know I could just turn the TV off blah blah blah SHUT UP!