Conspiracy Theorists

Kung-Fu cult hero David Carradine may have been killed by a secret society of martial arts assassins, his family's lawyer, Mark Garegos claims. The New York Post reports Geragos suggested Carradine may have been attempting to uncover groups working in the martials-arts underworld at the time of his death.

Mr Garegos has previously represented Michael Jackson, actress Winona Ryder, wife-killer Scott Peterson and singer Chris Brown.

You fucking what?

First of all, if Ninjas did indeed kill whathisface, there'd be no suspicion whatsoever because they wouldn't have done it in such a ridiculous way like tying a fucking rope between his neck and his johnson.

Secondly, let's look at the "reputable" Mr Garegos' list of prior clients.

Michael Jackson: Insane.

Winona Ryder: Pirate whore.

Scott "Wife Killer" Peterson: Wife killer.

Chris Brown: Retard.

Here's a theory for you: Shut the fuck up.

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