Underwater Ironing

Worst world record ever.

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Solvol

Hey here's a good idea lets get some soap and mix in a shit load of sand and flog it of as "soap for hard cunts".

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APIA

As a 22 year old I am so sick of pensioners lording their low low insurance premiums over me every time I step out of the house. I swear the next old man who comes up to me and is like "oh, check out my car insurance it so fucking cheap!"is going to cop a spine buster in the middle of the fucking road.

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Hiring Non-Union Workers

Cable Installation Disaster

Let's face it. Even at the best of times, it's still a pretty big risk.

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The rate at which MS Paint compresses .jpegs

It's not 1997 anymore.

Looking at things through a pixellated haze just doesn't cut the mustard these days.

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Cool New People (continued)

Clean yourself up, you filthy fucking harlot.

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Nitro

For those of you who have not yet been enlightened Gladiators (you know that Mike Whitney hosted all those years ago) is coming back, and it's going to fucking own. Apart from this so called "Gladiator"...

Say no to drugs kids.

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AAC files

Fuck you Macintosh seriously.

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Leap Years

Fucking what?

Be March or get fucked.

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Michael Bay

Nice job on ruining Transformers, cumbucket. You turned a timeless cartoon of awesome into Japanese Seizure Robots.

Special effects =/= cohesive narrative.

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Sloths

Lazy fucks. Get a job.

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Matthew Hardy (continued)

My mouldy bowl of alphabet soup writes better jokes than you, fuckhead.

Let's look at this list of comedians who have done the "Fuck ay, Australian'n shit, yeah?" schtick before:

- Chris "I'm a Bloke" Franklin
- Kevin "Bloody" Wilson
- Austin Tayshus (You know. That cunt who had the Australiana song back in 1983)

Oh sure. They all had 5 miuntes of fame. But where are they now? Back doing shitty gigs at the Bowral RSL, and if they're lucky, a matinee gig at the Masonic Nursing Home in fucking Toorak.

But still, you can't even hold their jockstrap. Do yourself a favour, and get the fuck out of my comedies.

If you're looking for work, the kid that mows my lawns just moved away. You can have his job. It pays about the same as a shitful comedian, anyway.

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Counting Crows

Rock and roll may not be noise pollution, but you are.

Get haircuts and fuck off.

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Peter "I'm a stupid fuck" Everett

Get off my TV you fucking twat. I can't decide whether you are actually the world's stupidest incompetent fuck or that you just get a kick out of ruining pretty much the only good show on day time telly. Bring back the guy who looked like Adam Hills.

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Yofranks (continued)

Click here for back story.

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