Polar Bears

Potentially fatal to the polar bear, global warming has already left its mark on the species with smaller, less robust bears that are increasingly showing cannibalistic tendencies.

You stupid fucks. Why on earth are you eating each other when there are plenty of useless fucking Eskimos about for you to gnaw on and gain precious sustenance?

Learn to hunt, fuckers.

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Ferrets

What the fucking fuck?

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Suicidal Sharks

http://www.tmz.com/2008/12/18/shark-commits-suicide-on-waterslide/

No. That's a bad shark.

You cannot go on the waterslide. You are a shark.

You can't even handle chlorine.

Fail-O-Meter:

India

A mutant fish has started killing people after feeding on human corpses dumped in a river, scientists believe.

The catfish, called a goonch, may have developed a taste for human flesh in an Indian river where bodies are dumped after funerals.

Locals believe the fish has moved on from scavenging to snatching bathers who swim in the Great Kali, located along the India-Nepal border.

I don't know what is more disturbing the fact that there is a mutant fish that kills people or the fact that THESE PEOPLE SWIM IN THE SAME RIVER THAT THEY DUMP CORPSES IN!!!

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Sloths

Lazy fucks. Get a job.

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