St Kilda Rd

Do you like having to take a legitimate 5 minutes to cross a road?

Fail-O-Meter:

Thinking that walking from Spencer St Station to 565 St kilda Rd is a good idea

This is the sort of mistake you only make once.

Fail-O-Meter:

The Concept of "Wuv"

Confusing and infuriating.

Fail-O-Meter:

Stephen Hawking

There's only one thing worse than a smart-arse. And that's a smart-arse who's a show-off.

Here's a theory for you: Fuck off.

Fail-O-Meter:

People who park against the normal flow at Petrol Stations

Bad photo, I know. But just look at the fucker in the middle there.

People like him make me sick. Why is it SO brutally important that you can't wait your turn like everyone else? What's an extra 5 minutes? Is your house on fire? Is your baby on fire? Is your fucking face on fire? No. Get in line, and shut the fuck up.

And more to that, when you pull bullshit like this, you cause the most un-fucking-godly bottlenecks imaginable.

Fuck. Off.

Fail-O-Meter:

Sporks

I'm dividing this up into two sections, addressing the sporks dual (alleged) functions as both a utensil and a weapon.


1) Spork as a Utensil
The spork: For the man comfortable enough in his inherent weakness to proudly state "I'm that much of a retarded cunt that I can't keep my food contained to the boundaries of regular utensils." It is the training wheels of cutlery.


2) Spork as a Weapon
Real men fight with spoons.

Fail-O-Meter:

Corey "I'm a fuck" Worthington

Party boy Corey Worthington is in strife with police after trying to con his way into a Gold Coast nightclub with a fake ID early today.

Despite his national notoriety, enhanced by a two weeks in the Big Brother house, he tried to use a fake ID to get into popular Surfers Paradise nightclub Shooters about 2.20am.

The 17-year-old was pounced on by bouncers and police who issued him with a $225 on-the-spot fine.

Where is your fake ID now?

Honestly, what did he think was going to happen? Damn kids.

Fail-O-Meter:

"Ben Galvin"

Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Having my name and shit. Then he's got the nerve to try to add me on facebook. Damn

Fail-O-Meter:

French Con Artists, and the Vietnamese Chumps who fall for it.

Click here for the full scoop.

"A 32-year-old Frenchman is set to stand trial in a lower court near Oslo next week on charges that he cheated a gullible Vietnamese man out of 180,000 kroner (35,00 dollars, 23,000 euros) earlier this year, local daily Romerikes Blad (RB) reported on its website.

The victim of the con, who was not identified, was reportedly told by the Frenchman to leave a mixture of real cash with blank bills to marinate in a special liquid overnight, and the next morning he would have double the amount of cash at his disposal.

But when he showed up the next morning to collect his prize, both the cash and the suspected con-artist, whose name was not revealed, had disappeared.

"He has given a statement that leads us to believe that he really believed this was possible. But we are of course having a hard time understanding how someone could actually believe such a tall tale," police officer Ragnar Ingberg told RB.

On March 3, the Frenchman was arrested while trying to leave the country with nearly 200,000 kroner in his possession.

The man's defence lawyer, Jan Schjatvet, told RB his client had come to Norway to find used cars in mint condition to sell in Africa, and that he was flabbergasted at the charges against him.

"He is extremely surprised to be charged with something that is so incredible. This sounds completely crazy," he told the paper."

Fail-O-Meter:

The Zimbabwean Economy

ZIMBABWE has introduced a new half-a-billion dollar bank note in a bid to tackle cash shortages fed by rampant inflation, the central bank said today.

"Introducing the new 500,000,000 bearer cheque for your convenience," read a Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe full-page advert in the state daily, The Herald, displaying specimens of the new note.

The note, comes into circulation 10 days after the introduction of a quarter-of-a-billion one early this month.

The southern African nation, currently gripped by a post-election crisis, has been ravaged by hyperinflation which reached 165,000 per cent in February.


The $500,000,000 note is worth $A2.61c.

Oh Robert Mugabe. You so cuh-ray-zeh.

Fail-O-Meter:

Icarus

Your cocksure, foolhardy antics are no match for logic and science.

Who's a dickhead? You are.

Fail-O-Meter:

Bliss & Eso Fans

Look... I like hip hop I really do, but if Jesus came back to Earth and was like...

"There is too many of you here we need to kill some dudes"

The kill order would go like this...

1. Murderers
2. Rapists
3. Bliss & Eso Fans
4. Redneck bigots
5. The Burmese government

Seriously who would pay $20 to go see bogans with decks. Fuckheads that's who.

Fail-O-Meter:

Cascade Green

Oh for fuck sake, getting some dude to plant a heap of trees for you does not make you carbon neutral.

Fail-O-Meter:

Jerry "Stupid" Lawler

This is what happens when you leave foodstuffs unguarded:

WHERE IS YOUR DELICIOUS SANDWHICH NOW, JERRY LAWLER?

Fail-O-Meter: