Good Sportsmanship

A HIGH school basketball coach was sacked after he refused to apologise for his team's 100-0 thrashing of a crosstown rival.

The Covenant School in Dallas, Texas, beat the Dallas Academy by the stunning margin in a match played on January 13.

Last week, the school posted a message on its website apologising for the win. "It is shameful and an embarrassment that this happened. This clearly does not reflect a Christlike and honourable approach to competition," the message read.

Fuck that.

You seriously wanted him to apologise to the other team because he was apparently ruling at his job?

Here's an apology for them: "I'm sorry your team SUCKS ASS."

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Stephanie Rice

The honours keep flying in for swimming's glamour girl Stephanie Rice with the RAAF naming a plane after her. The new AP-3C Orion, now known as Stephanie, was destined for success just like its namesake,Corporal Andrew Summers said.

“The long smooth figure and design is built for speed and manoeuvrability whilst maintaining its sense of gracefulness,” Cpl Summers said.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm sure being a swimmer garners her all sorts of wonderful misappropriated attention and publicity. Her's is a role that's important to us as Australians, after all.

But at some point you really do have to sit back and ask yourself, "Man, how many dicks has she sucked?"

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Andrew Demetriou

FOOTBALL'S night of nights began with the shamble of shambles. A calamity, even, when Andrew Demetriou started counting the Brownlow Medal at Round 2.

You fucking retard.

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Alain Bernard

Stop smiling, Gigantor. You're French.

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Judo

Oh sure. On paper, it seems exciting. Perhaps even enthralling. But I've got the hot scoop for you.

A Judo bout consists primarily of the following:

• Two people feebly grabbing at each others bathrobes for 5 minutes.

If I wanted to watch that, I'd stop by Happy Hour at the Masonic Retirement Village.

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Brett Favre

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2008/08/08/2328352.htm

The Jets?

The JETS???

Seriously, fucking Americans and their cunting sheepstations of sports. I turn my back for 5 seconds and this shit happens. This is worse than the Hornets leaving Charlotte.

Stop beating that dead horse and go build a boat, Pops.

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These two idiots

Defence: Utilise.

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Jerry "Stupid" Lawler

This is what happens when you leave foodstuffs unguarded:

WHERE IS YOUR DELICIOUS SANDWHICH NOW, JERRY LAWLER?

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Nick D'Arcy

The main reason I wanted to post this is the article title shown above. But also what the fuck sort of name is D'Arcy, just call it Darcy and be done with it.

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Brent Staker

That'll learn you for getting your jaw in the way of a Barry Hall fist.

How 'bout try and not be a shit player next time.

In fact, here's a great new joke. It's gonna do the rounds man, I swear it.

Q: What do you tell a man that just got punched by Barry Hall?

A: Nothing. 'Cause he been knocked the FUCK out.

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This Guy

Time to switch to decaf.

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The Board of Control for Cricket in India, the International Cricket Council, the Australian Sports Hall of Fame, and Peter Roebuck.

A fail in four parts. A veritable hail of fail, as it were.

The Board of Control for Cricket in India (BCCI)

Let's think about this rationally, for a moment here. You, as a collective group of grown men who have been chosen to oversee the process and progress of the game in one of the most densely populated nations in the world, were threatening to pull the pin on an entire tour, effectively canning nearly 2 months of additional matches, because one of your players was found GUILTY of an infraction against the clearly stated code of conduct. A player who, I'll add, has fallen afoul of that very same code of conduct on more than one occasion in the past. I fully understand the grievance you may feel on account of the nature of this particular allegation. Racist connotations or implications are never nice, and should never sit lightly with anyone. However the fact remains that India is a progressive nation, and the civility of British rule past is slowly fading from India's social make-up. And to be honest, I don't really care that Satchin Tendulkar fully supports Harbhajan. It shouldn't matter who throws his/her weight behind him. It could be Johnny Nobody from the Toorak B-Reserve team, or it could be the second coming of WG Grace himself. The fact remains that if Andrew Symonds feels certain that he has been vilified against, action MUST be taken, and punishment needs to be handed down. You cannot throw your economic weight around in attempt to take a strangle hold of the game itself in order to further the agenda that best suits your interests. It is simply not cricket. And in regards to the dodgy umpiring of Steve Bucknor, yes, I'll admit, he got some things wrong. Everyone does from time to time. It's this human element that makes the game of cricket so great. Yeah, it might have afforded you a loss instead of a draw. But the bottom line is this; Your final three, supposedly international quality, elite cricketers, could not survive the 8 balls that were left. Balls that were being delivered by a pie-throwing, part-time-spinning pretty boy. Yeah you copped bad decisions. Yeah Ponting's declaration wasn't exactly sporting. But for shits sake. Your team had a nearly 100 run lead in the first innings. And you came 8 minutes shy of a draw, only to have your last three wickets fall in the space of five balls that were bowelled by a guy who, by his own admission, has infinitely more arse than class.

You lost. Get over it. Now shut the fuck up and play the fucking game.

The International Cricket Council

Shame on you for caving in to the BCCI by sacking Bucknor. You're supposed to be overseeing the best interests of the GAME of CRICKET. Not being held to ransom by a bunch of sooking sub-continentals who are throwing a tantrum because they copped a few (admittedly horridly) bad decisions that MAY (but probably wouldn't) have cost them a loss instead of a draw. The rules of cricket clearly, CLEARLY state that a participating team has absolutely NO say as to which umpires are appointed for the game, and by caving in you have set a very dangerous precedent for future contests. For fucking shame.

The Australian Sports Hall of Fame

What fucking right do you cunts think you have to go around demanding that the Australian national cricket team be re-structured, or certain players be axed etc.? Don't get me wrong, I appreciate your contributions to Australian sports in the past. But for fucks sake, talk about tall poppy syndrome. Here we have a group of retired dudes. One sailed boats. One ran marathons. One did some other shit thing that I can't remember right now. You are retired. Your spot in that Hall of Fame is merely ceremonial. As is any Hall of Fame ever. You do not "have a fair bit of clout in the current sporting world". Get the fuck out of my papers and go back to rubbing osteo-ease into your long-overdue-for-replacement knee joints.

Peter Roebuck

If, by some Satanic miracle, Ricky Ponting is indeed sacked because of your comments, rest assured I'm coming for you. I'm coming for you, and I'm coming for your house. You miserable, bottom feeding, lowest common denominating muck raker. You may say you wrote what you did because you wanted to get a reaction? Well I've got a reaction for you. My foot in your trachea. How's that for a reaction.

HAIL. OF. FAIL.

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