At Wimbledon, you're able to see smart looking world-class professionals engage in an ages-old battle of stregth, stamina and endurance on an expertly manicured grass court.
Anywhere else in the world, you'll see two faggots flop about on a court made of dicks and hate wearing clothes that look like they've been wrung through a magazine printing press whilst a bear simultaneously shits on them from a great height.
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You've got a head like a kettle and the comedic appeal of dried up duck shit.
Shut the fuck up.
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Seriously if you know this person I will pay a lot of money for you to imprison him somewhere so I can come and give him a savage; savage beating. Who wants to chip in?
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"There are no aliens up there, as far as we know, but NASA is preparing to bomb the moon.
A space mission blasted off from Cape Canaveral today carrying a missile that will fire a hole deep in the lunar surface, The Daily Telegraph reported.
The unmanned Lunar Crater Observation and Sensing Satellite mission (LCROSS) will fire a Centaur rocket into the surface at twice the speed of a bullet.
The aim is to see whether any traces of water or vapour will be revealed by the disruption caused to the surface"
Gotta tell you, I'm not 100% on this one. When we live in a world where poverty effects a very large proportion of the world's population how can the yanks justify spending billions of dollars on bombing the fucking moon.
I've watched enough disaster movies to know that firing a missile at a large hunk of rock orbiting the planet is not exactly a good move.
Also, since when has the speed of a bullet become an accepted measure of speed.
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You better PRAY TO ALMIGHTY GOD that you don't bump into me on the street, motherfucker.
Oh HURFUCKINGDUR "Look at me and my awesome Facebook url. I'm special and not at all the filthy pile of dogshit that the url suggests I am. I am super awesome and hilarious."
DO YOU SEE ME LAUGHING, FLESHPIG? DO YOU?
LEAVE TOWN.
LEAVE THE FUCKING COUNTRY.
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Hot tip: If you don't want to get a parking ticket PAY FOR YOUR FUCKING PARKING!!!
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You fucking what?
First of all, if Ninjas did indeed kill whathisface, there'd be no suspicion whatsoever because they wouldn't have done it in such a ridiculous way like tying a fucking rope between his neck and his johnson.
Secondly, let's look at the "reputable" Mr Garegos' list of prior clients.
Michael Jackson: Insane.
Winona Ryder: Pirate whore.
Scott "Wife Killer" Peterson: Wife killer.
Chris Brown: Retard.
Here's a theory for you: Shut the fuck up.
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FUCK YOU BEN LEE YOU'RE NOT PUTTING YOUR GODDAMN SPYWARE ONTO MY COMPUTER YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT.
I HOPE YOU DIE. I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE OF BRAIN AIDS YOU DICK-SHITTING CUNT.
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What a useless piece of fucking shit.
Do you know what other kitchen appliance can be equally as effective in the cooking of a pizza?
An oven. A fucking oven.
Added bonus: Cooking a pizza in an oven is a surefire way to ensure that your pizza doesn't look the 3-day old vomit omelette that you see above.
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I don't know if this shit goes down in other codes but every week it seems the "rules" of Aussie rules changes. When the Yanks think about Australian Rules the often conjure images like the ones below...
I'm sorry to break it to you but not all Australians are like Crocodile Dundee and our football is no longer the man sport it used to be.
Seriously what was wrong with the rule set we had 20 years ago? 10 years ago if you accidentally ran into an umpire it was a non event, now you cop a $5k fine and a 4 week suspension. EVEN WHEN IT'S THE FUCKING UMPIRES FAULT!!! You used to be able to take your time when taking a shot a goal; now we have shot clock... THIS AIN'T THE FUCKING NBA SHITHEAD, FOOTBALLERS AIN'T BALLIN' OR SHOT CALLIN' GODDAMNIT!!!
Apparently a a sense of atmosphere and umpires getting bowled over funniest home videos style isn't entertaining.
AFL is a mans sport. Not fucking netball in shorts. The sooner these pencil pushers get money off their minds and start thinking about entertainment the better.
P.S. AFL is still better than American football. Lose the padding and harden the fuck up. Also rugby league is boring as hell. "Me get ball and take to other end of field ugha ugha"...
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TWO AND A HALF MEN
"Every Episode for the Upcoming Season"
INT. DAY - The Harper Residence
CHARLIE SHEEN has sex with a woman one third his age.
The woman exits the house. JON CRYER has a neurotic breakdown, then recovers all in the space of 5 seconds.
THE KID makes a snide-but-obvious remark about being a kid.
CUE SFX: "MEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNN".
Roll Credits.
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Unless that message is "I'm a massive faggot with faggoty hair and a face like a sundried poo" then I don't want to fucking know about it.
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