Clay Court Tennis

Any sport that Spaniards excel at should be universally outlawed.

Fail-O-Meter:

Lacrosse

What the fucking fuck even is this stupid game?

A bunch of over-privileged retards skipping around a field, wailing on each other with sticks.

And those helmets are ridiculous.

Die.

Fail-O-Meter:

The French

HOW ARE YOU EVEN A COUNTRY?

Fail-O-Meter:

Brett Favre (cont'd)

Brett Favre signs with the Minnesota Vikings.

You son of a bitch.

If, during World War II, Winston Churchill had defected to Nazi Germany, paired up with Hitler and not only led them to a crushing, world-conquering victory, but joined him in touring every major city in the world, butt-raping every child and small dog in sight whilst simultaneously running nails down chalkboards and stabbing kittens with AIDS knives...

...IF that had happened, you signing to the Vikings would still be worse.

Get FUCKED.

Fail-O-Meter:

Lance Armstrong

The only reason you're doing as well as you are is because

a) You're riding the coattails of everyone else.

and b) You've got a FUCK OFF good team who are ensuring Le Tour follows the organisers script.

And yes, I just said script. Because the Tour de France is quite obviously rigged.

If it wasn't rigged, you'd be fucking failing over all the place, and no one (not even your average useless French dicklicker) wants to see a one nutted retard finish 164th.

Go home, Grandpa.

Fail-O-Meter:

Stuart MacGill

Shut the fuck up.

Fail-O-Meter:

Non-Wimbledon tennis players

At Wimbledon, you're able to see smart looking world-class professionals engage in an ages-old battle of stregth, stamina and endurance on an expertly manicured grass court.

Anywhere else in the world, you'll see two faggots flop about on a court made of dicks and hate wearing clothes that look like they've been wrung through a magazine printing press whilst a bear simultaneously shits on them from a great height.

Fail-O-Meter:

The current direction of AFL

I don't know if this shit goes down in other codes but every week it seems the "rules" of Aussie rules changes. When the Yanks think about Australian Rules the often conjure images like the ones below...

I'm sorry to break it to you but not all Australians are like Crocodile Dundee and our football is no longer the man sport it used to be.

Seriously what was wrong with the rule set we had 20 years ago? 10 years ago if you accidentally ran into an umpire it was a non event, now you cop a $5k fine and a 4 week suspension. EVEN WHEN IT'S THE FUCKING UMPIRES FAULT!!! You used to be able to take your time when taking a shot a goal; now we have shot clock... THIS AIN'T THE FUCKING NBA SHITHEAD, FOOTBALLERS AIN'T BALLIN' OR SHOT CALLIN' GODDAMNIT!!!

Apparently a a sense of atmosphere and umpires getting bowled over funniest home videos style isn't entertaining.

AFL is a mans sport. Not fucking netball in shorts. The sooner these pencil pushers get money off their minds and start thinking about entertainment the better.

P.S. AFL is still better than American football. Lose the padding and harden the fuck up. Also rugby league is boring as hell. "Me get ball and take to other end of field ugha ugha"...

Fail-O-Meter:

Shane Watson

Fuck off out of the national side and buy a sports bar already, you useless fucking waste of space.

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