"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"
"HOLY SHIT. I DON'T KNOW, IT LOOKS NORMAL, BUT IT'S SOMETHING THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND."
"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK."
"RUN, ASSHOLE. RUN AWAY FROM THE NORMAL THING."
"SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT."
"
Fail-O-Meter:
That's what it's actually called. I'm not making this up.
No. That's a bad barbeque.
You cannot defeat Vega. You are a barbeque.
You can't even get past Guile.
Fail-O-Meter:
Sample dialogue:
PETA: "Eating meat is wrong."
Me: "Ok. But why?"
PETA: "Because it's wrong."
Me: "Yes, I gathered your position on this. Can you provide some clarification?"
PETA: "Well, it's wrong because it is."
Me: "...what?"
PETA: "If you eat meat, therefore you are bad and should stop eating meat."
Me: "Yeah, Ok. I get that part. But give me some reasons."
PETA: "Well, for starters, it's bad. Now here's a picture of a cool celebrity not eating meat."
Me: "[/furious headdesking]"
Look at that steak. Look at that motherfucking steak.
It's currently sitting on my plate being awesome and cooked (medium rare, for those keeping score at home).
Now I'm going to eat that steak.
Because it is delicious.
Om-nom-fucking-nom, PETA.
Fail-O-Meter:
No Inbox you say? Oh man. That one that I've had for fucking EONS must've all just been an illusion.
The only Inbox that I'll be setting up with you doucheholes is the one where I put your head IN a BOX, and then smack you seventeen thousand times with a fucking Kendo Stick.
Fail-O-Meter:
A modern-day remake of the film (The Warriors) is set to be directed by some shitforbrains, with a tentative release date of 2010. The remake may include real gang members and try to create a modern version of the story, set in Not New York. And just recently veteran actor weak dog has been chosen to play a role that he'll suck at.
Fail-O-Meter:
When Kevin Rudd announced that he was handing out $900 to pretty much everyone but Tyse, 9 million Australians simultaneously went to the nearest window, opened it and screamed out "Mo' money WHAT!". They then proceeded to download this song and made it their new ringtone.
Then this douche comes along and is like... no.Fail-O-Meter:
For fuck sake it's April. HARDEN THE FUCK UP!!!
When I was a kid in winter we use to have a bowl of ice for breakfast then went to school in our stubbies and played football on an oval made of permafrost, and we liked it. It was fucking awesome!
Fail-O-Meter:
Fuck yes! We'll give everyone money! Lots of fucking money! What a brilliant idea!
We'll give it in packages! Shit, some people can have two or three if they like! The more deadbeat and fucked they are, the more we'll give them! It'll be a money party, and everyone is invited except for that one guy Tyse, who decided to be responsible and study last year and graduate instead of sit around with his thumb up his arse like everyone else did. Ergo, he can go fuck himself.
Well, FUCK YOU you greedy, mindless cunts.
Go buy your pointless shit that'll make you happy for about 10 seconds, and I'll just sit here and stare at my HECS bill which is both in 5-figure territory, and not getting any smaller.
But that's alright. That's al-fucking-right because at least I've got an education. An education which, despite it costing me fucking shitloads of money, is apparently cunting worthless to the Government.
Kiss my fucking dick, the whole goddamn lot of you.
Fail-O-Meter:
Pointless. Retarded. Utterly shitful.
"Oh wow, sweet, you put soap in my coffee! Har-de-fucking-har!"
"No way! A clown flower that squirted me with water! How original! The fact that it was fucking plastic didn't tip me off at all!"
"Oh shit! You duct-taped me to a flagpole! Boy, I did not see that one coming. I especially didn't see it coming during those 2 hours when you were duct-taping me to a flagpole."
Next year, I'm going to prank someone by threatening to punch them in the face.
Then I will laugh.
And then they will laugh.
And then I will punch them in the face.
Fail-O-Meter:
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