Wall Street

Fail-O-Meter:

Andrew Demetriou

FOOTBALL'S night of nights began with the shamble of shambles. A calamity, even, when Andrew Demetriou started counting the Brownlow Medal at Round 2.

You fucking retard.

Fail-O-Meter:

Steve Jobs

Smug fuckhead.

How about I integrate my fist with your trachea?

You could call it "iPunch You in the Fucking Throat, Asshat".

How's that for User-Friendly?

Fail-O-Meter:

The Large Hadron Collider

Normally, when dudes want to draw attention away from the fact that they have little-to-no dick, they buy a sports car.

But occasionally, a large group of dickless nancy boys assemble in the one place. And even more occasionally, that group happens to assemble on the French/Swiss border.

When this happens, the collective fail of that group is so great, that the resulting failure by-product is the useless piece of shit known to us as the Large Hadron Collider.

I mean, when Stephen Hawking treats you sarcastic contempt you know you're destined for a fail of such colossal proportions that you'll need to spend the next 20 years devising a algorithmic model in order to comprehend just how big of a fuckhead you really are.

Also, "Hadron" is far too close to "Hardon" for anyone to take the damn thing seriously.

Fail-O-Meter:

Perez Hilton

Fucking kill yourself, Fatty.

Fail-O-Meter:

People who drive whilst wearing headphones

Idiots.

If you're that keen on being a dickhead we can simply cut out the middle man and I'll fetch a baseball bat and beat the living fuck out of both you and your car.

It'd yield the same result with less than half the effort.

Fail-O-Meter: