Tieless Suits

Wearing a suit without a tie is like driving a car without petrol.

Either way, you end up sitting in a big, useless, ugly looking piece of crap all night.

And everyone thinks you're a dick.

Fail-O-Meter:

PS3 Slim

Can it make my dinner and suck my dick?

No?

Well then it can fuck right off.

Fail-O-Meter:

Astrology/Starsigns/Horoscopes

Starsigns and astrology are swindles made up by Gypsies to fool idiots like you into thinking that some bullshit dot-to-dot drawing that some shrooming hippie freak drew in the night sky has influence in your supposed "life".

It doesn't.

They're just stars.

Useless, good for nothing stars.

And yet you continue to fall for these filthy Gypsies and their shady Gypsy curses they put on you every single day in the form of the utterly retarded horoscope.

So here you go. I have prepared for you, your first and only completely accurate, 100% Gypsy-free insight into your own future. Enjoy.

HOROSCOPE FOR TOMORROW FOR ALL STAR SIGNS:

Something altogether vague may or may not happen to you, and there's a strong likelihood that you're an impotent bitch.

Fail-O-Meter:

People who try to verbally describe a series of text messages they received

You know the ones. The kind of people who look at you with that horrible shit-eating grin and proudly proceed to rob you of 5 minutes of your life that you're never getting back by saying something that sounds like this:

"...and so I sent: blahblahblah

And then they replied: fapfapfap

And so I sent back: blahblahblah

And then they replied again: fapfapfap

And so I replied this time with: blahblahblah

And then they sent back: fapfapfap

And so I replied to that with: blahblahblah

And then they replied: fapfapfap"

And while they're doing it you can literally feel your soul cower into the fetal position and weep just a little bit.

Die. Fucking die.

Fail-O-Meter: