Dudes who still "octopus" their guitar strings

It's not 1998 and you're not in Static X.

Clean your shit up.

Fail-O-Meter:

Joe McElderry

That right there is not only the little shitforbrains who got his chart-related arse handed to him by a fucking Facebook group, but he's also your unbackable favourite for "World's Biggest Shit-Eating Grin 2009".

Fail-O-Meter:

Japanese Spambots

FUCKING ALL UP IN MY SHIT RUINING MY COMMENTS BOX

FUCK. OFF.

Fail-O-Meter:

Blogs that turn into Books

Why the fuck would I want a shitty paperback version of someone's shitty wordpress?
Why the fuck would I want to PAY for that, when I can Firefox the shit out of it for free?
Why the fuck do you think your shitty bullshit blog fuckwittery would have even the smallest chance of standing up for itself in the vast literary world?

And, finally, but most importantly:

How the fuck are you going to repay me because my Boss yelled at me because I couldn't ALT+TAB my way out of your dumbfuck blogbook when I saw him coming?

Eat shit, kill yourself, repeat.

Fail-O-Meter: